Family assumes my son is going to be baptized when he is bor

[Gigibear]

Hey girls! I have not been on here in awhile, things have been pretty crazy, we had yet ANOTHER military overseas move canceled & this pregnancy has not been without complications, the most recent of which has me on shots every day til at least 6 weeks after giving birth, which seems more and more likely to be premature.

Anyway, my parents have always wanted a boy so they are thrilled I"m having a son. My mom is pretty religious, she tells me she prays to St. Jude every night for me and wears a St. Jude medallion. My dad refuses to go to church (Roman Catholic) due to a dislike of the priest, but also won't ever consider switching denominations. My father in law is super religioulsy Roman Catholic, my mother in law probably doesn't go into a church unless it's a wedding. My stepchildren were never baptized although their mother considers herself very Christian (*snort*). So that's a bit of the family background.

My mom keeps hinting, oh ok outright saying stuff like "I have to figure out how to convince you to have a baptism!" I used to jokingly reply "We get gifts, right?" and try to laugh it off, but she's gotten more and more serious. She even dug out my father's old baptism gown and told me how happy he was that my son could wear it, since he was never able to pass it on to a son of his own.

Now, we DID get married in a chuch to keep everyone happy, but a) It was Methodist, who I've found to be def. more friendly than RC (they told my husband his children weren't Children of God for not being baptized- I HATE catholicism, really), and b) The pastor at that church knew exactly how we felt and he still agreed to marry us, he kept the god talk to a minimum and actually quoted a bible verse we liked about how woman was meant to walk beside man, not under him, therefore she was created from his rib and not his foot. We liked that, lol.


Ack, I keep getting off track.

So, methodists do NOT baptism infants, so the one route I might have been confortable with isnt available. I am not willing to compromise my (dis)beliefs and grovel to the Roman Catholic church, assuming they are even willing to baptism a childen with siblings that aren't and a father that is divorced. Even if i WAS willing, I would honestly think anyone who does follow Roman Catholism would be offended and me and dh going through the motions to make someone else hapy. Yet I just have so much guilt because my parents tried very very hard to have a son, to the point where my mother ended up having a seriously medical problems from repeated miscarriages followed by a failed adoption of a Russian boy. Espeically my dad, he cried when he found out I was having a boy and he is a big tough retired general. The fact that he saved his baptism gown for a son really does make me cry. But I don' twant my son to wear it!

[Angela]

First I have to say that I am still soooooooo excited for you! Yay!!!

Regarding the baptism thing, if you can't simply say that you won't have him baptised, perhaps you can say that you prefer to let him wait until he is older to make the decision himself, and then you hope he will choose to do it at the Methodist church where you were married for your own sentimental reasons. Or something like that.

Since your father refuses to go to church anyway, my guess is that he really just wants to see your son in the gown, and probably doens't really care that much about the ceremony when it gets down to the heart of it. Perhaps you can compromise and have some professional pictures taken of your son in the gown to give to your father. The way I see it, without the ceremony, it's just an outfit that means a lot to your dad, and maybe that would be enough to keep everyone happy.

[MissyChrissy]

Angela has some wonderful advice! I'm still very thrilled for you too I hope whatever it is that means you need shots isn't serious.

Honestly, I don't know what I'd do in your situation, that's why I said listen to Angela. You can't live your life trying to please everyone else, kwim? Unless there's some spiritual person who would be willing to do some kind of ceremony? That's assuming you'd even be into that even...

Ugh...I'm sure your family means well.

[Gigibear]

I did find a local UU congregation- http://www.uufp.org/

That does "child dedication"- http://www.uua.org/visitors/worship/cer ... 6976.shtml


I sent the link to my husband to see what he thinks- I'll have to actually check out the UU "worship" before we make a decision, but I think I can live with this compromise. Lol.

[sunrider]

I was going to suggest some other type of ceremony - like a naming or dedication of sorts - where he could wear the gown and dad would be comfortable.